PLEASE DO NOT READ

2010-10-28T15:54:00.001+08:00

on your breast i gently laid

2010-10-05T22:00:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZODkpBZqOY8

one sunday my father brought me out for a late breakfast and we had indian rojak at fu lu shou street and then we went to syed alwi to have mee pok. it was alright.

2010-09-28T22:41:00.002+08:00

Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to liveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee twang wang wang drum bap pap ta da dadada pra pa pa pa pa p ap

dono wtf its about but rock sia

2010-09-01T22:52:00.001+08:00

AMD zbb bzz

2010-08-10T21:30:00.002+08:00

at work today i arrived twenty minutes early and i slept for nearly 2 hours during lunch time i dreamt that a boy i used to stay near to who is now a man gave me an old sports car. it was really flimsy so whenever the wind blew the car would flip over on its top and i would have to crawl out and push it over, it happened a few more times throughout the dream. when i woke i went to the canteen to have a meal. i ate noodles and i had an iced milo. i went home and put my dirty uniform in the laundry and cooked dinner with elvie. i bathed and watched an episode of the simpsons. i have watched it before. i lay in bed feeling not too optimistic about life but then i got bored so i started reading one of three books that i bought a few weeks back but never got about to reading. it is by anthony bourdain and it is called medium raw. i enjoy watching his show on what used to be channel 16 and is now channel four hundred and something. i think it was an awful move to make channels three digits and till now i can't remember what channel is what number so i waste time scrolling through them one by one. like all the yesterdays before, i studied for 50 minutes and decided that tomorrow would be a better day to do my work. the time is 10:16pm and in a while before i sleep i will pray and tell myself that i will take tomorrow in my hands and make it a better day, and hopefully tomorrow, unlike all the yesterdays i had thus far, i will actually do it.

2010-06-25T21:09:00.003+08:00

tomorrow i will be seeing my friends from my polytechnic, fana, adam, and i'm not sure who else. i sailed with fana for about one year during my attachment. i think of her fondly because she is always really helpful with everything. she is a clever girl and is always very quick to learn the technicalities of ship operations. she is always so energetic i get tired watching her run around doing shit.
it has been awhile since i have been back to the ship and it would be nice to do so. i plan to complete some of my long overdue assignments and hopefully have the time to do a little bit of fishing. there are some big fishes out there!
at the back of my mind all day long now are thoughts of how mundane it is being my age and i try not to think of it but the more i try not to the more i actually do. and it just sits there at the back of my head like a big jagged boulder that refuses to budge. in fact it can't budge. how can something that weighs down as heavily upon my life as that move off so easily? and then somewhere in the back there is another thought that things maybe only will get worse as i continue to age and i think when i'm 29 and a day from 30, thats when i'll totally lose it and start my ruthless descent into disregard for personal grooming and public appearance.

but i try to live life healthier, some what. for starters i have started to eat less. a few months ago if i was wondering whether i should have mee goreng or ayam penyet, i'd order both and then have eight cans of beer after that and smoke maybe half a pack. i try to swim twice during the week and i try not to stuff myself too much. also i sleep really well after i swim.
its a friday night and i am home.

2010-06-24T22:28:00.003+08:00

so i have been in the army for about 6-7 months now who is counting, time passes faster when you don't count. anyhow, life has been alright. nothing too exciting really. every thursday of the week i say 'wow tomorrow is friday already!' and every friday i say 'wow tomorrow is saturday already!'
everyday i make at least 15 trips to the toilet to shit or piss and i choose the extreme left cubicle. it is the cleanest one, but it is still filthy. resident to the cubicle is a huge ass spider. now i mention it i wonder why i piss there all the time. it is a big, fat, nasty, bad ass spider that always looks at me when i piss and threatens to land on my dick and sink its fangs an inch deep. if spiders had real estate this guy was in prime district man. there is a little ledge in the wall infront of the porcelain toilet bowl and there are no less than 30 chunks of lizard shit. all i wonder while i piss, apart from whether the spider would chew on my dick, is whether anyone would die if they lined the lizard crap up in a neat row and snorted it with a yusoff ishak. would a little piece of lizard dookie sit in a cavity in your lung and fester? i don't know you try!
my parents bought me a little korean hatchback that i have been driving around a fair bit. after one and a half years of driving my little underbone kup motorbike i have gotten sick of it. i decided one day en route to work that i would get a handsome bike. after much trawling bike shops and the internet i found a really cute vespa. i tested it in toa payoh and found it to my liking. i purchased it. when i took it to the highway i found out that its max speed was 90km per hour and with this bike i had to think twice about overtaking SBS buses. it was a poor choice. although it looks nice, it is crap in practicality. so i stopped riding to work and now i drive to work.
got aircon and i can listen to music sia.
awefawef23rrr3r3fvgte

2010-04-23T23:11:00.006+08:00

today i had liquid shits man. i was my work desk when i first felt the liquid shit in my ass and i knew that i had to go soon but i still stuck around doing some paper work before i finally went to the toilet and boy i crapped man. i had 8 second farts and lots of liquid coming out of my ass.
i went back to the office and did work on the computer till noon.
during the 2 hour lunch break i took a nap on a sofa in the conference room, it was too ridiculously hot to nap in the bunk. i slept on the beach by alex garland. i read a short chapter, and lay on the sofa looking out at the strong singapore sun beating down on the windows and thought of the chapter i just read where the protagonist richard along with francoise and etienne leaped off the waterfall. i thought of that for a moment, long or short i can't judge, until i fell asleep. i slept deep for an hour and fourty five minutes. i woke up and went back to work.

when i came home i had another liquid shit, this time there was no fiber in the shit. it was like pissing shit out of my ass. i grimaced and shat and fart my ass off. when i was done i picked my girlfriend up and we drove about for awhile before coming home for dinner. we watched some prison show on television for awhile before i sent her home.

2010-04-20T22:07:00.002+08:00

oh wow its been awhile. so i didn't completely burn out but..no buts. this year i'm turning 21 and i have never felt more stagnant about myself. i am in the army. my left index finger is itching terribly and i don't know why the left side of my body is itching so much. yesterday it was my left ankle, two days ago it was my left calf. in bed in the dark i scratched and scratched till there was blood and skin under my nails.
sometimes i go out with my grandparents or just hang around at their place. my grandfather is 86 this year and my grandmother 84. my grandfather chokes every meal and it is quite a discomforting sight. his face turns really red and half chewed food falls out of his mouth. my grandma would just shake her head and say something like 'i told you not to talk while you eat', or something dismissive like that.
at work things are alright. although it is extremely boring, i use my free time to read. that is just about the most productive thing i'm doing right now. in a week i can finish three books. recently i've been reading a lot of bukowski. his books are extremely easy to read and entertaining too.

i can't think of how fast time has..never mind the cliche. i wish i could remember things as clearly as i wanted them to be. all these things that i've done seem more and more insignificant. why?

2009-09-13T22:31:00.000+08:00

it is better to burn out than to fade away. i'm burnt out. going to write else where. RIP teenage life!

2009-09-13T11:55:00.000+08:00

now i come right before you with my hands lifted up and my heart humbly bowed at your work on the cross as you hung there and died

2009-09-12T14:52:00.001+08:00

awhile after i smoked i took a slow walk around and found a place to sit and read. i read for an hour in serene silence apart from the occasional domestic worker taking dogs for walks. a ginger cat was sleeping with its face on its little paws and when i left to go home for dinner i found it had hardly changed its posture. a beautiful lady walked the same direction as me. she had on torn jeans, a cardigan and running shoes. green running shoes. walking behind her i watched how every man she passed stopped for a moment to look at her. she is probably used to it.
at night i was sitting at the pub with some high strung guys talking about yawn army and yawn soccer. what was really funny was one of the guys there looked like a mash up between juan sebestian veron and david blaine. i was so high and stoned i expected him to levitate.
then i looked away, out of the window. the outside sky looked like a stellar nursery and i wanted to be part of it. i wanted to jump out of the fucking window so badly. something needed to happen and jumping out of the fucking window seemed like the best thing to do at that point in time. it was simple, i just had to get a good footing on the ledge and jump as hard as i could i would be part of the sky. truthfully, what would i say to the pub patrons i land on? how many bones will i break? maybe i'd swallow my tongue and choke to death mid-air. but maybe not i don't think i'd die from a height like that. i'd definitely drink some beer if i do jump out of the fucking window. the fucking window.. he taps me on the shoulder with a lighter. you know bro, i feel like burning my fucking face off. i just want to burn the motherfucker! i ask him why he would want to do that and he says he just feels like doing it, and he wants to burn his face until you can see the bone underneath. it is funny he mentioned that the first thing would burn is his beard.

2009-09-11T02:54:00.000+08:00

the curtains drawn
the winter sunn
makes patttttttterns on your faccee
it lookfs like some
kaleidescccccopic
brrreathinggg excercise

2009-09-09T17:37:00.000+08:00

i brought my grandparents out for lunch on tuesday. they arrived 15 minutes late, 15 minutes after noon, because grandma had to inflate her car tyres. my grandparents are old man. my grandfather is much slower now and he doesn't talk as much but he's still funny. he still eats a lot if that is any consolation.
we sat at the food court talking for nearly two hours. grandma just got her driving license renewed for another five years, allowing her to drive till she is 88. but she drives quite dangerously her eyesight isn't too good. but not bad for an 83 year old. drives safer than karin, aged 20. karin drives like she thinks she is in a monster truck rally, grand prize, 4 cases of beer.

2009-09-06T21:04:00.001+08:00

it is so good it is a shame to smoke it..it is like killing a unicorn

2009-09-06T11:38:00.001+08:00

last night/ this morning, i got so shit faced i don't really remember much. i know i was swearing way too much. i was saying nabei and cheebye and kanina and all that jazz man. also i forgot how to speak mandarin, and i had to speak malay to the chinese cab driver who was chiding me on how shameful it is my mandarin is such trash.
when i saw david phip ps i embraced him like a lover. before that david judah called some random girl on my phone and she was asking about seth. we don't know no seth man! it turned out she was asking how paul is but she got his name wrong. when david realized that he started laughing like mad and rolling on the fucking filthy floor outside the joint.
after the second one we knocked the fuck out on some field and it felt so good. i wanted to lie in an open field. i wanted the snakes to suck my skin, the worms to be my friend. i wanted the birds to eat my eyes.

thinking of it i probably was no different from a retarded boy last night. i spoke to adora about some maccy d's and i don't think i've had a more retarded conversation. it was like hey which macdonalds are you going to and she said siglap and i asked whether she would order chicken macnuggets and she said heyyy correct but i bet i was wrong actually. i asked what beverage would you be ordering hahahaha like a retard and i suggested ice lemon tea and she said yes ice lemon tea. confirm drink coke actually. diet coke.

2009-09-03T21:47:00.001+08:00

i feel really glad that i completed my last paper today, although i didn't do the paper well. the days ahead seem so easy now! so much time, so many things. tomorrow, i will buy a new packet of rolling papers, read my books, play the guitar, make breakfast and shit. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! oh and rock and roll with dave at night man!

i woke up 2 hours ago. after the paper today i got really high and smashed. it was really fun but tiring cause my classmates walked around so much. so when i took the train home standing i felt like shit. people were looking cause i smelt like beer and looked like a hobo but it is all good, i was feeling easy. i reached home at three and crashed. fina woke me up to ask what i would like for dinner. dinner was proper man. chicken adobo with really tasty cubes of potato in some righteous sauce. i normally do not like potato.
now it's 9:57 and i'm waiting for karin. i can imagine she's probably at cheers buying a 6 pack, so she'll be fifteen minutes late. i do not know anyone who likes to sit and drink in parks as much as karin. sometimes we eat apples sia. how often do people eat apples anymore! its like spreading a good serving of pearl jam on some good bread and devouring that shit! actually i think karin might be a friendly relaxed cat pretending to be a human. i will investigate this matter.

2009-09-02T23:13:00.000+08:00

so I throw the windows wide
and call to you across the sky!

2009-09-01T21:53:00.000+08:00

i had my meteorology paper today, and i think the paper was nice and easy. like economic rice. anyhow whack and enjoy.
speaking of meteorology the weather today was really nice. reminds me again that christmas is coming. today had the perfect weather for blazing, and i am blazing like a monkey who found 20 cartons of premium jamaican bananas and a large glass of cold milk straight from the tits of a well behaved obedient well fed cow and two marlboro reds wrapped up in gold foil served on the back of a flunky.

2009-09-01T09:40:00.000+08:00

for the past few weeks i haven't been able to sleep because i have these morbid thoughts that someone is making me chew my own lips up, and eat as much as my own mouth as possible like my cheeks and tongue. then lying in bed i'd try biting my lips a little and imagine how much it hurts having to chew them off.
i'd imagine after i've eaten my lips i stand in front of the mirror and look at my new face which is pretty much the same except my lips are missing and there is no symmetry to them. the teeth would be visible all the time without anything to blanket them. pretty ugly.
when i was a kid it was the fear of getting my head dunked in the sink and covered in quick drying cement. this is morbid dreams episode 2.

2009-08-30T22:13:00.000+08:00

in my fist i had lots of coins amounting to 5.70, just enough to buy 3 cans of beer. when i reached the shop, standing in front of the cooler i dropped a 20 cent coin which rolled under. i went back to the car to get 20 more cents.

2009-08-29T18:31:00.000+08:00

i had exams throughout the week, and in 5 days if i pass everything i graduate! on thursday morning i went to easy park and sat there for awhile and had a cigarette. it is very nice in the day as well, with alot of saga seeds on the floor. 4 saga seeds make just about a gram. i read on a website that the leaves of a saga seed tree can be cooked and eaten but, 'usually only during a famine.' they also stated that because they only germinate when scratched, boiled, or dunked in acid, they are supposed to be eaten and passed out by animals. i think saga seeds have that explosive dispersing thingamajig where the pod they are in kinda flings them a distance when it breaks. that is quite neat.
i reached the park moments before it rained so the air was really busy and the shaky leaves were blown off to the ground. after my cigarette it started raining and i went to school for my ship knowledge paper. it is a three hour paper!

on friday i rock and rolled behind a convenience store singing the 11.95 blues with dave judah, same place as the week before. last week a dave was pissing in some bushes and a policeman started yelling at him thinking he was a flasher.

2009-08-26T22:41:00.000+08:00

today i had my ocean navigation paper, the hardest and toughest paper, the paper that i've been studying for the most. i messed it up good and proper. the next resit is in two months. cest la vie!
today i had old chang kees sardine curry puff. not bad keke

2009-08-23T00:05:00.001+08:00

it was for freedom, from myself and from the land

2009-08-22T13:28:00.000+08:00

i woke up early today and went to siglap and had breakfast. i bought a 4 dollar pack of some of the tastiest noodles home, and for the rest of the morning i was just thinking of how i'm gonna sit in front of the telly and devour that yummy pack of noodlez.
an hour past noon i decided to go down and have my yummy noodles. they were missing. fina was sitting on the sofa where i normally sit, watching buffy the vampire slayer, eating MY FUCKING NOODLEs.
M YFUCKING NOODLES LA now i'm so upset i can't study

2009-08-21T19:48:00.000+08:00

yesterday was good deed day. i found a pair of ray bans and i returned them. also i bought soup and brought it over to my grandparents house.

today is a day of nothing apart from rather cool weather. reminds me of the song hushabye mountain from the show chitty chitty bang bang. i studied as much as i could which was about 2 hours. i am a no good at studies boy

2009-08-18T22:13:00.000+08:00

so the boy at raimah sat there with his hair all waxed in place and leather shoes so new it smelt like a moose was sitting next to me he touched his hair three times in ten seconds and then smoke a cigarette and looked around
then he spoke loudly and looked around

then i whipped out my pistol all serious as shit and stormed towards him
what tha fuck you want? he asks me

2009-08-17T21:29:00.001+08:00

it's august, the second half of the year. i feel christmassy already. 2 years ago i bought a dire straits best of cd and i've been listening to it since. i remember asking my uncle whether i could borrow it but because he is a selfish punk he said no. so i bought it second hand from this cat at cityhall who can look at his watch with one eye and keep an eye on the door with the other.
after school i met zaki. he bought a new big sports bike that sounds and looks really nice. he is still the same grungy boy i knew when i was in bedok green. his uniforms always had cigarette burns in weird areas like at his back, or at his armpit. i remember he had this uniform with a really big hole at the armpit. on the last day of school he got his pocket torn off. my pocket got torn off too. then the kids thought it would be cool to torch these little school flags with their cigarette lighters, so they did that at the entrance to the school. i thought it was childish but, i'm childish too, i enjoyed watching the clumsy trajectory of awful memories tossed over my shoulder a leeeettle. if i pass all the papers in the next 2 weeks then i'll be done with polytechnic as well. i would have a diploma and my parents won't see me staying in their home as that much of a necessity now. maybe one day i'll come home drunk and see all my shit packed up in boxes sitting outside the house with a note to 'call once in awhile.'

2009-08-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

hello this is the 999th piece of garbage that i've written on this website. i accidently caught my arm against the stiff end of a fat E string and proceeded to puncture a nice chubby hole clean through.

2009-08-12T17:21:00.000+08:00

its 5:21 in the afternoon. i just did some math homework and i wish i could be transported to a rowdy dive bar where man man is playing and beer is cheap and cold. maybe after man man plays andrew bird can play. no i think i'll watch wilco over andrew bird right now.

2009-08-11T21:58:00.000+08:00

today was the first paper!

i took the train to school and back, and stood mashed up against people. my eyes are so dry! i will retrieve another beer from the fridge.

oh ya the paper was ok.

2009-08-06T21:31:00.000+08:00

Malaysia teacher makes student smoke to punish him
AP
By JULIA ZAPPEI,Associated Press Writer AP - Thursday, August 6

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A Malaysian teacher forced a student to smoke 42 cigarettes in two hours as punishment after finding the boy had a cigarette and lighter, a news report said Thursday.
ADVERTISEMENT

A school official confirmed that the English teacher subjected the student to the unusual punishment but said the teenager was made to smoke fewer than 42 cigarettes. He declined to elaborate.

He said the teacher was upset when she found that her model student had a cigarette and a lighter in his locker in the school in the northern island of Langkawi.

The boy also smelled of cigarettes, said a school official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the press. He said the school apologized to the boy's uncle, who lodged a police report when he found out about the punishment.

Guess the police office released as its statement?

"This is not normal. We don't do that often," the official said.

ya no shit einstein thats not something people do very often.

2009-07-28T22:46:00.001+08:00

all i wanted to do when i left school today was to come home, have dinner, study and watch fleet foxes on pitchfork.tv
it has nice footage of live gigs and it is of high quality. while riding home i was thinking about what would happen if i got into an accident, i think about that every time i ride actually. at the AYE somewhere after keppel the car in front of me, a toyota, jammed its brakes. jam like jam and sardine and peanut butter and toe jam sandwich. i jammed like a mee pok roti prata rokok marlboro sandwich but i couldn't stop in time. i smacked the rear of the toyota. a second later a mercedes taxi that was tailgating me hit me. then the next few seconds was just chaos. brakes screeching, cars colliding, balls shrinking, tailgaters regretting.
the aftermath was 6 cars piled up on the AYE. the last couple of cars had to get towed away they smashed into each other pretty badly but me, divine intervention! i didnt' have a scratch! i do not know how i got away with that. but my bike was totalled. i rode home with no mirrors, erp unit dangling on a wire, my front wheel misaligned, no license plate behind, fuel leaking on the side of the bike.
time to sell my bike sia.

at least i made it home to watch fleet foxes on pitchfork.tv

2009-07-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

echoes says:
what you students call u
vishal says:
mr vishal ah
echoes says:
power siaaa

2009-07-23T21:16:00.003+08:00

today was a bad day. nothing bad happened today though. it happened awhile ago.

2009-07-20T23:19:00.003+08:00

on saturday i sent paul off at the airport. when i saw his dad's usually stern face look so sad i felt like crying haha. paul cried, sad stuff. i will see you soon polly.
on sunday i had a fever, but it is going away now. today i studied hard like a good boy. i am getting sick of riding a bike, it is dangerous because the people all over drive like @#$@#$@!!!! it is so infuriating when you are just chilling and someone changes lane missing you by half a meter. not funny!

2009-07-15T23:26:00.002+08:00

it rained today so i took the train and back from school. i walked back home and rode my bike for its scheduled vehicle inspection at kaki bukit. everything went well and i left in about half of an hour. while riding back at around kaki bukit avenue 1 i hit a huge rock the size of a typewriter that was lying in the middle of the road, i wonder how in the hell it got there! the cars in front of me just drove over it and following behind them, i didn't see it till it was right in front of my wheel. i remember thinking, 'what the hell is this..' and before i knew it my speedometer was in my face and i was doing a wheelie on the main road haha. anyhow i managed to land the wheelie in a really unfashionable manner and somehow hurt my right leg. my front tire burst and i rode with a flat tire to the bike shop and got it changed. what a day! thank God i managed to stick the landing if not i'd probably be unable to attend school for a while.

it is thursday tomorrow, already!

2009-07-14T22:48:00.002+08:00

yesterday i was riding home happily on the ayer rajah expressway in the middle lane, when a fat boisterous mercedes cut across from the extreme left lane to the extreme right lane, jumping 4 lanes in one turn, missing me by a whole meter. my bike wobbled like crazy and i was hopping mad! and i did all i could do which was to catch up with him and horn at him for 10 seconds. then he turned right to get onto the CTE and i turned left to get onto the ECP. i love not taking public transport but i hate having to negotiate with unreasonable traffic.

2009-07-11T23:54:00.003+08:00

it rained as heavy as lead this evening. i put on my plastic watch over my bee sting and walked out with my dads company umbrella to meet paul at the train station. we had a few beers and talked. we pissed on trees and electrical supply boxes and walked about. we toured the flats and imagined of the home we would have to sustain in the future. it makes me sad that my friends are going away.
the high tide today is at 1:15am. if i weren't meeting paul i would have gone fishing in the monsoon canal. but alas, i've had a few beers and i'm not fit to ride to my fishing spot. tomorrow if i study enough in the day time perhaps i'd go fishing. i'd have to pop down by a grocers to buy bait though..and i'm a lazy boy.
it's been a long time since i last caught a fish. i think the last fish i caught was on my last ship in india. those were blissful days, i caught many big mackerals. in singapore, people were pissed off with me for staying so long in india, but all i did was work, fish, smoke, eat, and sleep. there is nothing like getting >8 hours of sleep a day. everything you do the day after you get more than 8 hours of sleep is more meaningful and done with greater effort.

Paul says:
eh i tell u want lame joke
how to make lady gaga irritated
echoes says:
how
Paul says:
poke her face
echoes says:
cb just now u told me already sia bro

2009-07-09T22:38:00.002+08:00

hello. i'm scratching my bee stung lightly. it's still swollen and sore. i just got back from cheers kembangan. there is a promotion, one large can of asahi for 3.95. bloody worth it man! i bought 6. questal told me and i contemplated for awhile before going down. tomorrow is friday. thank whoever is to thank it is thursday! but i've got to get up and 6 tomorrow for school and no thanks to this beer promotion it is going to be a drag...argh. nighty night.

2009-07-08T23:10:00.001+08:00

i almost forgot i got this little website! anyway i've been swamped with school work. my quarantine is over and i've started school today. i got stung by a bee when i got off my bike, of all places, under my watch, no idea how it got there. it felt like shit. i've been reading anthony bourdain's kitchen confidential when i take breaks from studying.

'What most people don't get about professional-level cooking is that it is not at all about the best recipe, the most innovative presentation, the most creative marriage of ingredients, flavors and textures; that, presumably, was all arranged long before you sat down to dinner. Line cooking — the real business of preparing the food you eat — is more about consistency, about mindless, unvarying repetition, the same series of tasks performed over and over and over again in exactly the same way. The last thing a chef wants in a line cook is an innovator .... Chefs require blind, near-fanatical loyalty, a strong back and an automaton-like consistency of execution under battlefield conditions.'

2009-07-01T17:08:00.002+08:00

today i woke up and got ready to go to school. after i got out of the shower and while i was putting on my jeans i received a message. cause 2 classmates of mine have h1n1 i've 7 days leave of absence. i thought that was good cause i could stop having new lessons piled on me and revise my old work, but then there is this e-learning thing where i try to learn shit on my computer.

2009-07-01T17:06:00.000+08:00

I stopped into a restaurant and oh, it was a dream
From a half mile up the highway you could see the fixtures gleam
They heated up the coffee cups with extra pressure steam
But the food was terrible

The waitresses were charming, they had such lovely eyes
Their smiles all matched exactly and their uniforms likewise
Their hair was piled as sweetly as the topping on the pies
But the food was terrible

The décor was a symphony in orange, gold and white
The silver and the crockery would fill you with delight
The menu was a masterpiece, so witty and so bright
But the food was terrible

They must have spent a fortune on the furniture and such
On the place mats and the napkins, just like linen to the touch
So the budget for the kitchen really wasn't very much
And the food was terrible

Another generation will forget the taste of meat
Of tomatoes from the garden and of bread that's made of wheat
And they'll never even notice, when it's plastic that they eat
That the food is terrible

2009-06-28T23:08:00.001+08:00

goodnight to the last day of the holiday. i promise i'll be a good boy and study hard.

2009-06-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

Leonard Cohen - A Thousand Kisses Deep

Don't matter if the road is long
Don't matter if it's steep
Don't matter if the moon is gone
And the darkness is complete
Don't matter if we lose our way
It's written that we'll meet
At least, that's what I heard you say
A thousand kisses deep

I loved you when you opened
Like a lily to the heat
You see, I'm just another snowman
Standing in the rain and sleet
Who loved you with his frozen love
His second hand physique
With all he is and all he was
A thousand kisses deep

I know you had to lie to me
I know you had to cheat
You learned it on your father's knee
And at your mother's feet
But did you have to fight your way
Across the burning street
When all our vital interests lay
A thousand kisses deep

I'm turning tricks
I'm getting fixed
I'm back on boogie street
I'd like to quit the business
But I'm in it, so to speak
The thought of you is peaceful
And the file on you complete
Except what I forgot to do
A thousand kisses deep

Don't matter if you're rich and strong
Don't matter if you're weak
Don't matter if you write a song
The nightingales repeat
Don't matter if it's nine to five
Or timeless and unique
You ditch your life to stay alive
A thousand kisses deep

The ponies run
The girls are young
The odds are there to beat
You win a while, and then it's done
Your little winning streak
And summon now to deal with your invincible defeat
You live your life as if it's real
A thousand kisses deep

I hear their voices in the wine
That sometimes did me seek
The band is playing Auld Lang Syne
But the heart will not retreat
There's no forsaking what you love
No existential leap
As witnessed here in time and blood
A thousand kisses deep

2009-06-24T11:49:00.002+08:00

the past few days have been the same, everyday i wake up and take a shower and brush my teeth then have breakfast and read the papers. about the time i finish the reading the last section, i normally read life last, my doorbell would ring and i would open the door for adam, then we would study for say 5-6hours. i'll have dinner, play guitar, read a little and then i'll go to sleep. and i'm going to do that again.

this morning i stood in my garden and watched my neighbour play with her daughter on their swing set and wished i could join in, they looked so happy. the air was kind, and it was cool, but it was a little dusty from the construction site opposite my house. i had just woken from a 13 hour sleep, strangely enough i still feel tired. my nose was leaking like crazy yesterday so i took an actifed, and that incapacitated me. i felt soooo drowsy i couldn't do shit. even playing guitar wasn't fun. so i slept at 8:30pm, and woke at a little before 10am this morning. what a day ahead, practical navigation. yawn.

2009-06-23T19:27:00.002+08:00

for four and a half solid hours today i studied practical navigation. my mind is drained

2009-06-23T01:12:00.003+08:00

have you ever gotten completely smashed lying down occasionally going down to the kitchen to get snacks like omelets and biscuits? it is a real queer feeling i tell you and i think everyone should experience it once in their life.

2009-06-22T23:53:00.002+08:00

today questals friend, my friend too, joleen, invited us over for dinner. in attendance was glenda, joleen of course, questal and me. i wore a shirt i just bought, and i brought a little gift over. joleen had cold asahi in the fridge. we had dinner and i was kinda tipsy by then and i was trying not to laugh. i thought it was funny but not everyone thought so. after that i took a bus 30 home with questal, in my right hand a plastic bag full of left over beer. beer is tasty. i tried my best to sing nice songs to glenda, questal, and joleen but i think i hurt their ears. i will practice harder and the next time probably i'll sing nicer songs.

2009-06-22T00:20:00.002+08:00

i was standing in my toilet smoking, blowing party ribbons of smoke out of the window when i spied a cheeky little sparrow flying into my neighbours bedroom. from my bathroom i can see a quarter of my neighbours bedroom, a dark wooden bookshelf, half a television, and a yellow lamp. sometimes i see my neighbor, a middle aged man with a pot belly (he hardly wears a shirt), and a slight receding hairline, walking about doing the gardening. i don't think anyone noticed the bird fly into the room because there was no commotion, at least in that partial view i had of the room. perhaps it made a home in the warm comfort of a breast pocket of a hanging shirt.

once when i was 6 a large butterfly flew into the living room. it was just my brother, ralph, and i, in the living room. we tried to chase it out, and ralph had the bright idea of turning the ceiling fan to its maximum speed to 'blow the butterfly out of the house.'

the butterfly never did get blown out of the house, instead it got sliced the fuck to death by an off white KDK ceiling fan. the trajectory of the wounded butterfly was as delicate and poignant as an elephant raping a zebra white shooting up heroin , and ordering a multinational corporation on the phone to deforest the entire amazon rain forest just so that its home town would be the number 1 eco-tourist destination. go serengeti!

2009-06-20T02:34:00.001+08:00

nothing special to mention. i am just a teenage dirtbag baby

2009-06-20T01:40:00.003+08:00

i cracked a single egg into a porcelain bowl. i then added a teaspoon of soya sauce, a little bit of pepper, and then microwaved it for 25 seconds. it tasted delicious. i'm not in the best of moods, and i haven't been for awhile, but life goes on, and so does kenny

2009-06-17T21:06:00.002+08:00

good evening this is a warm up. today i studied for damn near 4 hours, and i jammed for one and a half. i messed up the jamming good and proper, i feel so nervous playing in front of people. i'm as unreliable as the weather reports when it comes to playing the guitar.

2009-06-09T13:07:00.002+08:00

i'm in a cybercafe in phuket now, the sun is strong and the clouds are modest. the food is good and the beer is cheap. i need to shit now.

2009-06-04T22:42:00.004+08:00

sometimes i've a number of pretty much emptied cans under my bed and i tip each one upside down over my mouth and get about 10 drops of warm beer, it's just like trying to get the last few drops of petrol shaking the dew off the leaf as some call it

2009-06-04T21:30:00.002+08:00

it is the second last day of school but i'm not feeling that good about it. nothing memorable happened today except fina cooked really good prawn curry. i love curry. i think curry goes best with rice. i can have 9 plates of rice with good curry alone. i just sneezed all over my arm. there is no more beer and i'm drinking canadian club whiskey. normally when i drink this kinda shit i wake up in the middle of the night after 2 hours of crappy sleep and go to the toilet to drink some tap water cause it really parches. jeez i thought i'd feel better after a stiff one but i don't feel happy about anything. every night half way into drinking i pack my school bag, and everyday in school i am missing shit like a calculator or a textbook or paper to write on but it's ok cause i've nice classmates who i can sit with and share stuff with.

2009-06-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

may i come in?

2009-06-03T22:26:00.002+08:00

today i took a three hour nap when i came home from school, i dreamt of many things, and when i woke up i felt like shit. i went down and had dinner and watched television unremarkable shows really. today after i had my lunch i smoked outside school and there was a boy who was staring at me, obnoxious like. in fact most days when i walk around school there is bound to be someone who would stare at me that way. why is this so? why so hostile. i felt uncomfortable, i threw away my cigarette, in a bin ashtray of course, then walked to take the train home (it rained today, it was very humid)

2009-06-02T23:30:00.002+08:00

the weather is such a killer i perspired so much riding home from school. i sat in the study hall trying to study for a while but all i could think of is lying on my reclining sofa with the legs rest out eating a burger, drinking ice water and watching telly. so i packed my textbooks, pens and calculator into my bag and bought a burger from macdonalds and rode home. on the way home this toyota wanker tailgated me at 105kmph, and i was very tempted to give him the finger. but i didn't, i filtered to the left lane and let him over take me. it is upsetting how many people drive like wankers.

2009-06-02T20:54:00.001+08:00

Look for me another day.
I feel that I could change,
I feel that I could change.
There's a sudden joy that's like
a fish, a moving light;
I thought I saw it
rowing on the lakes of Canada

2009-05-27T22:12:00.002+08:00

today my buddy paul called me to inform me that his grandmother passed away in the morning in her sleep, and he was the one to find her sleeping in death. perhaps we should try to take death as a good thing, especially such a peaceful one free of pain or disease. i think she is in a way better place anyway, the best place ever in fact!
there is nothing more thought provoking than trying to summarise how a person lived his or her live and all the things they had to do.
just like when eagles came to singapore in 04, i'm sure everyone looked at don henly sitting on the drums singing his ass off like he did 20 years ago wondering how fat and old he's become. rest in peace pauls grandma.

2009-05-19T22:56:00.002+08:00

today is one of those many days which i don't look forward too. i feel so demoralized studying and realizing how much i don't know, its so hard to stay abreast in school. each time i try to grasp something, something new comes along and i try to understand that, but i don't and then another thing comes along. this sounds like a secondary school students problems. i was trying to calculate the distance given latitude and longitude from brest, france, to new york in usa, and after punching in a shit load of numbers in my calculator and drawing the sailing route, the figure i got was 34 miles. which is obviously wrong. i stood up and went off to cheers to get a six pack.

when i came back i saw a man from the construction site opposite my house sitting on the kerb right outside my house. i sat next to him and we drank together. his name is arule, and he's 22. he took 7 months to pay off his agent who brought him to singapore. he doesn't like singapore because he doesn't hardly gets any off days and all he does is back breaking stuff. he is going back to tamil nadu to get married after working for 2 years straight in singapore, then he'll come back to work another 2 years. how is that for a life.

2009-05-16T14:36:00.004+08:00

most travelers greet any kind of deal with a certain amount of caution, sensibly, especially when taking taxis. of course, no one likes getting ripped off, and travelers have for long been a prime target in all kinds of scams. one afternoon in phnom penh i decided to make a short trip down to the riverside to have some happy pizza and drink some beer. i stood by the kerb and it wasn't before long that i caught sight of a motodop, a motorcycle taxi. i stuck my hand out and signaled for the elderly motordop rider to stop, and asked how much it would cost to get to the riverside in the most i know how much it should cost tone, borderline hostile like. he stuck out a single wrinkly index finger and said 'one dolla, one dolla.' cool i thought, and hopped onto the old 80cc daelim motorbike. on the journey i kept looking at the back of his sun charred ears, it was really wrinkled and aged, just like the cross section of a really old sycamore tree, each line seemed to mark an arbitrary period of riding shitty ass kids like me around phnom penh in suicidal traffic for a dollar. we reached our destination in 10 minutes, i hopped off and reached into my pocket and felt for a single bill and passed it to him, and smiled and turned to walk off. he looked confused, and was examining the bill. i walked back to see what was wrong, i had given him an old fucking $2 petrol discount coupon from shell that had been abandoned in the pocket of my jeans.
if i were him i would have kicked my ass, but he didn't. i was so ashamed of myself for the mistake i quickly went through my wallet for a real US dollar and quickly paid him. he let out a little laugh, gave a smile as wide as the sun, and rode off. i felt so humbled and embarrassed i hated myself so bad for letting my traveler caution take over.

2009-05-14T22:47:00.002+08:00

i watched on helplessly as the crow on the other side of the fence cawed thrice before hopping over to the ashtray. i've seen this crow before and its appearance never meant anything good. still looking at me, it picked up a freshly abandoned cigarette butt, bent its knees, and in a fluid motion straightened them and leaped off hideously. in no time it was over my neighbours vacant house. the crow dropped the cigarette butt onto the awnings. i struggled to climb over the fence, the barb wires tearing at my skin. as i searched desperately for the garden hose, the entire backyard was soon ablaze in the torrid afternoon.

2009-05-13T23:13:00.002+08:00

wednesday already. tomorrow school is from 10 to 4:30, and then soon it would be friday again. today there is no beer at home so i'm drinking bombay sapphire which royally burns holes in my stomach. practical navigation is really tearing my brains apart. i feel crappy when all my classmates can grasp everything so easily and i take like 2 days to figure out great circle sailing.

my fan has 5 settings, but they aren't uniform. the difference between 4 and 5 is vast. 5 is great, happy days, ventilated room. 4 is much weaker. my eyes are so dry. it reminds me of when libby came to stay with the lin family, she introduced me to some english artistes, and one of them was the streets, in particular a song called 'dry your eyes'. libby and my family went to parkway parade and she compared the topshop at parkway parade with the one in england. she put make up on my face when i wasn't prepared and swiped the fat blusher brush across my naked eyeball. it wasn't a pleasant feeling.

2009-05-11T22:39:00.001+08:00

monday. yet another monday, like any other monday. boring day in school, had dinner, played with cat power, studied a little bit and now i'm going to sleep. my dad complains about how cat power meows too much outside the house, but he knows she likes belly rubs and i saw in his notebook to 'buy cat food'.

2009-05-09T15:29:00.003+08:00

i woke up this morning aching. i drank some tap water and went back to sleep. school life is so dull there isn't anything to say. i shouldn't blame it on school, i'm the dull one. even my holidays are boring.

2009-05-07T20:28:00.003+08:00

walking back to my place after a long day a big fat toad hopped over my foot. it was fat and slightly moist. it looked disgusting. it was the size of a cream puff. i prod it into the drain so that no one would step on it. it made a big splash.
tomorrow at 6am if you look into the eastern sky you'd be able to see venus, and jupiter above it. yes, with your naked eye. take a look!

2009-05-06T23:07:00.003+08:00

today is the 6th of may, and it is a wednesday. it is alarming how fast the days are passing. time isn't a constant. time has been extremely subjective throughout the different periods in my life. i'm lying in bed thinking of cambodia..oh cambodia. holiday in cambodia. i've a three week holiday in june. perhaps i'll make a little trip somewhere.
everyday as i ride past the construction site of the integrated resorts a thousand grains of sand fly and hit me where my clothes don't cover, my neck and my ankles if my pants are hiked up. it's quite a terrible feeling really.

there is nothing like riding home when traffic is good, and i can take it leisurely, or choose to fly about.

2009-05-04T22:49:00.001+08:00

my aircon makes occasional moans and groans. i'm tired. school is no good.

2009-05-03T22:23:00.002+08:00

when i came home today the cat was sitting by the gate. i've no idea whose cat it is, but it looks exactly like my neighbours cat. i have played with it a few times and gave it milk, assuming that it was my neighbours cat. one day i came home from school, and i saw two of them side by side. i found a plastic container and filled it with milk and fed it. now whenever i come out of my house, there is a cat waiting for me. i've named this cat cat power. like after chan marshall, cat power, the singer. i named her so cause she is really vocal, always meowing when she sees me.
i had dinner with my family and we did groceries and went home. there is school tomorrow. fuck me

2009-05-03T01:06:00.000+08:00

who lounged hungry and lonesome through Houston
seeking jazz or sex or soup, and followed the
brilliant Spaniard to converse about America
and Eternity, a hopeless task, and so took ship
to Africa,
who disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico leaving
behind nothing but the shadow of dungarees
and the lava and ash of poetry scattered in fire
place Chicago

2009-04-29T23:06:00.001+08:00

Love-making
On-screen
Impossible dream
And I have seen
The sunrise
Over the river
The freeway
Reminding
Of this mess we’re in

2009-04-29T16:52:00.000+08:00

i have been studying hard and i have not drank in 4 days.

2009-04-20T22:37:00.002+08:00

today was the first day of school. today for the first time i rode my bike to school, and i think i shouldn't do that too much. if i do it for the whole of this semester i would probably die on the AYE. back to taking the train and reading books simultaneously! because i ride a really cheap and ugly motorbike i feel kinda crappy coming into school you know, i'm just a kid! and the times are harsh. all the trendy kids got they trendy sports bikes and scramblers and shit and all i got is a malaysian construction worker bike!
the lessons this semester are going to be crazy! if i do get my certificate of competency..that would be the greatest achievement in my life thus far man. i wish a puppy would run into my house so i could adopt it and name it a ridiculously human name like michelle or kai xiang or hafiz. a cat called hafiz. how bout dat

2009-04-17T17:09:00.002+08:00

last night i received a call from my grandfather. he calls me every 2 weeks with hand phone trouble, hand phone trouble being text messaging set to dictionary mode which he has no idea how to use, or if he accidentally sets the background wall paper to something he doesn't like. he also asked how come i haven't been borrowing their car. i told him i would meet him this afternoon for lunch and to 'repair' his cell phone, he didn't know how to change the time.
it was quite a meaningful afternoon, it has been a month since i went out with grandpa. we had really tasty pork rib soup at the basement of katong roxy 2. it was so tasty i thought i decided to take away another 2 packets, one for myself and one for grandma. after lunch i sent him home and sat there with him for 2 hours just talking.
grandma wasn't at home and he didn't feel like staying home alone so i dropped him off at a shopping mall, returned the car to siglap, and rode my motorbike home with a container of soup in my basket. halfway home, the container started to leak pork rib soup all over my left leg and my bike. i bathed when i reached home but i didn't wash my bike. i haven't washed my bike since i bought it, but i do leave it out in the rain.

2009-04-16T02:08:00.002+08:00

today was an unbelievably boring day. i woke up feeling like i got hit by a couple of trailers, then as usual i made breakfast/lunch and read the papers. i watched some crappy shows on telly and then watched cooking with dog and wrote yummy recipes in my notebook. in the late afternoon i went to cold storage to look at the small japanese section without purchasing anything. i rode to the neighbourhood park and sat down with a notebook and pen. moments later i tore off a page of the notebook and made it into an envelope and started collecting saga seeds. i collected 48 saga seeds. i read online that saga seeds are very uniform, 4 saga seeds is equals a gram.

2009-04-14T17:19:00.004+08:00

i woke up early today, at 9am. as usual, i brushed my teeth, showered, made and had breakfast, and read the papers. my mom spoke to me for awhile before leaving for work. i was going to meet zaki and ride up to malaysia.
by 11am i was in woodlands, at our meeting point, the bus stop outside innova junior college. i have never actually seen innova junior college, it looks clean and presentable. i left my helmet on the motorbike and walked along the periphery of the school while waiting for zaki. i saw a baby bird sitting on the floor, on the other side of the fence. it was a cute one, with a fat brown beak that looked like a cigarette butt.
not very long later zaki showed up and we rode into johor within 15minutes. a panhandler signaled for us to park our bikes, and started arranging the other bikes to make space for mine. he asked for 3 ringgit, and assured us that he would take care of our bikes, even going so far as to say 'boleh tarok helmet sini, confirm aku jaga, tak leh hilang' (translated, it is okay to leave your helmets on the seat, i'll take care of them for you, they won't go missing.) we didn't leave our helmets on the seat but we did give him 3ringgit for his effort even though we knew he'd just piss off as soon as he got the money.
i had fried noodles for lunch at a small eating establishment. it cost 4 ringgit which is about $1.80. zaki had nasi pataya. it cost 4 ringgit too. we walked through a few dusty and dirty roads, through countless pirated DVD peddlers and old men sitting on wooden stools selling cialis and viagra, and all sorts of other drugs to assist a man in sexual performance. we spent less than an hour walking around the mall, there wasn't much. we crossed a few roads to a place called big bundle, it is a thrift shop which zaki patronises frequently. it is near city square and you won't miss it. the large sign under BIG BUNDLE read 'pemborong, penjual, pakaian terpakai yang import' or something to that effect.
there is no fan or moving air of any sort in big bundle and it smells of unwashed clothes, but if you are grunge enough you could get good buys. for starters, nothing there is expensive. the most expensive article of clothing i saw was a jacket for 60 RM. i saw this really nice uniqlo flannel shirt going for 10RM. upon inspection, i found what appears to be the work of a hungry rat. there were a few small holes on the back. perhaps the rat wasn't a hungry one, but a rebel. maybe rebel rat just bit holes in for fun.
i left with 2 shirts, a dark blue cotton long sleeve pull over, and a red checkered shirt. they cost 10 RM each. we listened to beat it by michael jackson on the jukebox for 50sen, before making our way home. the final stop before immigration was the petrol kiosk. unlike singapore, they don't classify the petrol as 92, 95, 98, or v-pro or whatever premium grade of petrol.
there is diesel, normal, and F-1, which is the premium. i've never pumped anything of higher quality than 95 into my bike before, today i thought i'd be extravagant and pump F-1. i had a little bit of petrol left in my tank, topping it to the very brim cost 2.75RM. how is that for extravagance. that's a dollar something for a full tank!
zaki rides like a crazy boy, he is flying all over the place on his motorbike, and he takes corners at such a ridiculous angle and speed. i was trailing most of the time but still keeping decent speed. by 4:30pm i reached home and bathed straight away. the thick layer of highway dirt that clings onto your skin when you ride a bike is annoying when you travel long distances. one time i was riding on the ECP behind a large truck which was carrying earth and sand, and shit started flying out of the truck and into my face. it kinda felt like crickets were attacking me.

2009-04-13T14:29:00.001+08:00

by the talented allen ginsberg.

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical
naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an
angry fix, angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to
the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,

who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the
supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities
contemplating jazz,

who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and saw Mohammedan angels
staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,

who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes hallucinating Arkansas
and Blake-light tragedy among the scholars of war,

who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing obscene odes on the
windows of the skull,

who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burning their money in wastebaskets
and listening to the Terror through the wall,

who got busted in their pubic beards returning through Laredo with a belt of
marijuana for New York,

who ate fire in paint hotels or drank turpentine in Paradise Alley, death, or
purgatoried their torsos night after night,

with dreams, and drugs, with waking nightmares, alcohol and cock and endless
balls,

incomparable blind streets of shuddering cloud and lightning in the mind leaping
toward poles of Canada & Paterson, illuminating all the motionless world of Time
in between

Peyote solidities of halls, backyard green tree cemetery dawns, wine drunkenness
over the rooftops, storefront boroughs of teahead joyride neon blinking traffic
light, sun and moon and tree vibrations in the roaring winter dusks of Brooklyn,
ashcan rantings and kind king light of mind,

who chained themselves to subways for the endless ride from Battery to holy
Bronx on benzedrine until the noise of wheels and children brought them down
shuddering mouth-wracked and battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance
in the drear light of Zoo,

who sank all night in the submarine light of Bickford's, floated out and sat
through the stale beer afternooon in desolate Fugazzi's, listening to the crack
of doom on the hydrogen jukebox,

who talked continuously seventy hours from park to pad to bar to Bellevue to
museum to the Brooklyn Bridge,

a lost battalion of platonic conversationalists jumping down the stoops off fire
escapes off windowsills off Empire State out of the moon,

yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts and memories and anecdotes
and eyeball kicks and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars,

whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days and nights with
brilliant eyes, meat for the Synagogue cast on the pavement,

who vanished into nowhere Zen New Jersey leaving a trail of ambiguous picture
postcards of Atlantic City Hall,

suffering Eastern sweats and Tangerian bone-grindings and migraines of China
under junk-withdrawal in Newark's bleak furnished room,

who wandered around and around at midnight in the railroad yard wondering where
to go, and went, leaving no broken hearts,

who lit cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars racketing through snow toward
lonesome farms in grandfather night,

who studied Plotinus Poe St. John of the Cross telepathy and bop kaballa because
the cosmos instinctively vibrated at their feet in Kansas,

who loned it through the streets of Idaho seeking visionary indian angels who
were visionary indian angels,

who thought they were only mad when Baltimore gleamed in supernatural ecstasy,

who jumped in limousines with the Chinaman of Oklahoma on the impulse of winter
midnight streetlight smalltown rain,

who lounged hungry and lonesome through Houston seeking jazz or sex or soup, and
followed the brilliant Spaniard to converse about America and Eternity, a
hopeless task, and so took ship to Africa,

who disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico leaving behind nothing but the
shadow of dungarees and the lava and ash of poetry scattered in fireplace
Chicago...

-- Allen Ginsberg

2009-04-12T02:07:00.001+08:00

phuket i ache for you, i miss you so

2009-04-10T21:40:00.001+08:00

today is a lethargic day. it rained very heavily in the afternoon. i went to a hotel for lunch with my family. my hands are buzzing from doing too much homework. today feels like none of the days in the week. my hands are buzzing so much!

2009-04-09T17:34:00.002+08:00

today i lost another pack of cigarettes while riding to the workshop to have my motorbike box fixed. it must have dropped out of my pocket when i took out my phone at the traffic light to look at the time. this is the second pack of cigarettes i lost in 3 days and it makes me sad. plus each pack had like 18 sticks in them.
it is so humid even though i am just sitting on my bed. the fan is working as hard as it can.
i was reading a newspaper cutting my mom passed to me from the april 8th edition of the straits times, and there was a really good article by keith stanovich about fiona xie and her hobbies, and how i can pull off the high-heels with short skirt look without seeming slutty. just kidding the article was about how there isn't a proper IQ test to determine what makes the thoughts of humans rational or irrational. scientists and the common bloke on the street would imagine a 'smart' lad would be someone who has logical judgements and acts with rationality, but there aren't any IQ tests which measure or assess good rationality.

what was really funny was a line in the article which said something like 'intelligence tests are not complete because of the simple fact that many people display a systematic inability to think or behave rationally despite having a normal or more than normal IQ' which makes me laugh because i am stupid like that, and i know many idiots.
another interesting part of the article is where the author very nicely encapsulates what he believes causes the lack of rational thinking
1)overconfidence in knowledge judgements
2)ignoring alternative hypothesis
3)evaluating evidence while being bias to yourself
4)having inconsistent preferences
5)over-weighing short term rewards at the expense of long term well being
6)to allow decisions to be affected by irrelevant shit

one of the best articles ev4r. now i won't be able to solve a problem without wondering whether i am over-weighing short term rewards and shit like that

2009-04-07T17:27:00.002+08:00

it is the 7th of april, i lost $20 amongst other things. the songkran festival in thailand is on april 13. if i leave a day or two earlier i should be able to reach thailand on my motobike. but then i'm just kidding because i'm a broke ass bitch

2009-03-27T00:01:00.002+08:00

for every arbitrary number of people that love you, there would be another arbitrary number of people that hate your guts. and that is a constant, the more popular you are the more people hate you. that is a great constant isn't it? that makes it easy for shallow ponds to judge strangers with just quick estimation

2009-03-19T02:24:00.004+08:00

i have an infected throat and i'm taking strong antibiotics for it. awhile ago i checked on yahoo whether mixing alcohol and antibiotics would fuck your stomach up because i had a bad experience with expired codeine tablets cause i had a cough and i had a beer after that. the results given didn't tell me much so i went ahead and had beer.

for anyone out there wondering whether mixing antibiotics with beer fucks your stomachs up, yes it does.

2009-03-18T03:44:00.003+08:00

the exam results are out early! :)
thank God.

> Subject: Singapore Polytechnic 2008/2009 S2 Examination Results
>
> Singapore Polytechnic 2008/2009 S2 Examination Results
>
> Student ID: 0640101
> Name: LIN KAIREN
>
> Module Code - Credit Unit - Grade
> ---------------------------------
> MA0527 Marine Communications - 7 - A
> MA0532 Tanker Familiarisation- 3 - A
> MA0549 Marine Surveying- 2 - A
> MA0534 Advanced Fire Fighting- 2.5 - B
> MA0548 Chartering and Brokering- 2 - B
> MA0541 Electronic Navigation Systems- 6 - B+
> MA0550 Ports and Terminals- 2 - C
> DE001B Real Estate Evaluation- 2 - D+
>
>
>
> SEMESTER GPA: 3.377
> CUMULATIVE GPA: 3.163
>
> ALLOWED TO CONTINUE IN THE COURSE

2009-03-18T01:29:00.002+08:00

the time is 1:29am. across the 2 foot by 2 foot wooden table sits my girlfriend questal in an old black swivel chair. i wonder how old it is. on the wooden table is a glass of warm water, and a 3/4 eaten packet of tau huey from geylang. questal is working hard on her drawings, and i'm just sitting here distracting her every now and then. it's nice to spend time like this, we don't really say much but i feel like the silence is actually very bonding. questal cut her hair short and i think it is very sexy. without make up she looks quite tired, well it is past midnight and she has had a long day i'm sure she is tired. she plans to stay up till tomorrow morning to do drawings, and then go to school. her passion is very sexy.
i caught a terrible cough and sore throat from questal but it's alright, i just can't eat yummy unhealthy spicy food.
when i have too much time on my hands i tend to become a bum, and everyday i consider constantly how happy i feel, and what i can do to make myself happy. i wish it didn't have to be this way, thinking about happiness so much. i've so much time i actually have to think about how to be happy. happiness shouldn't take so much effort. i know it sounds amazingly stupid i'm saying this but i do look forward to school to keep me busy so i won't be hanging around thinking selfish thoughts, thinking of my own well-being. in 10 hours my grades are going to be released and i can't wait to find out how i've done, considering i didn't study much cause i'm a lazy boy.
i don't have nothing left to say except that i love you questal, and you are yawning so much, you should be sleeping. when you wake up, i will see you again.

2009-03-16T21:03:00.002+08:00

i'm at home bored like a kotek. it has been raining the whole day up till now so i was really unmotivated to go anywhere. i thought i'd go fishing but i realised i left my fishing reel on my 2nd ship. it has been that long since i've been fishing. boringgggg sia! even left 4 dead is boring now.

2009-03-11T22:49:00.001+08:00

he'll lead the fleet
but he can't lick his wounds
he'll fight till his death
but he cant close his eyes
he was born dead and died alive

2009-03-11T03:35:00.001+08:00

ants in your pants
on a monday morning
sunday night, tomorrow morning
they will be coming!
nothing beats the anticipation
on sunday nights for monday mornings
after your final yawn
past dawn
before a newspaper is born in your lawn
the ants will be coming
your crotch be warned!

2009-03-06T21:26:00.002+08:00

phuket is fun. a finnish couple have just occupied the room next to mine and zakis so we hang out and drink beer in our shared balcony, it's quite nice. we were talking about the health and welfare system in scandinavian countries and she mentioned that although it is good, she once saw 'a man with no legs, and he has thrown his fake legs away, and he is drunk and shitting and pissing himself and i ask him how are you, and he was surprised she stopped to ask how he was'.
back to the hotel! i'm so tired from swimming in the sea.

2009-03-01T22:44:00.003+08:00

cheers promotion on bavaria beer (2 500ml cans for $5.50) really makes my day. i feel so happy scooting to any cheers around kembangan and purchasing 2 4 6 or 8 tall cans of cold, tasty, with not too much head beer. after about 4 i have the ability to break dance while playing guitar and writing poetry, pelting birds with shiny polished stones on my slingshot, scratching my ass, and many other things that you and your mother would really not want to know.

2009-02-28T22:33:00.002+08:00

while it is untrue that all males should listen to queen of the stone age, drink beer smoke reds and wear very aged clothes, it really feels good.
on tuesday i would be going to phuket. phuket is a fun place. for a nineteen year old, it is like disneyland. instantly you feel the slack in the air, you start the day with a hearty breakfast and a beer, and you proceed to have another 13 beers throughout the day. you can have a beer anywhere in phuket, in the hotel room you always have a bottle of beer next to you. while tanning you always have beer, while on the ferry you always have beer, while sight seeing you always have beer, when you go to a pub to drink beer, you always have beer!
this time i'll be doing it with a really grungy friend so i'm going to limit myself to spending 600 bucks. that can be a very arbitrary really. 600 to me is the allowance i receive per month from my company. i use it for everything, my parents do not give me any money or allowance and i don't ask my parents for any. on 600 i pay for transportation, trains, buses, my bike, to top up whoevers car i've borrowed, meals, clothes, haircuts and such and such. so i'll be spending a months allowance in a week in phuket. this excites me.

2009-02-28T03:14:00.000+08:00

i'm dating jack daniels and caleb swiss miss, nicky, tea,
nacho's with cocoa
hey, to each his own

2009-02-26T21:06:00.003+08:00

questal has been very busy with school so we don't get the opportunity to spend entire days together having fun and fighting with one another! my days are more boring now and i stay home more often than not, and if i do go out its probably just around kembangan. rocket man

2009-02-25T16:18:00.001+08:00

primary and secondary school teachers aren't real human beings, they are robots with ill-spirited intentions

2009-02-22T00:21:00.002+08:00

today i bought a kapcai motorbike! can you believe it! i've been enjoying life so much and now i get a crappy old bike, i'm so happy i'm so happy. this is a sneaky thing so if you are reading mom, i'm very sorry but i'm a boy and i have dreams to live. haha. when i travel i normally rent motorbikes if i can, and i always end up renting honda waves, and now i get to own one at home as well! i'm very pleased. if my hands had a life of their own it'd be freaky and cool cause they'd be doing shit and i wouldn't be asking my hands to be doing shit

2009-02-20T13:47:00.003+08:00

i think we should all pay more attention to the beauty of t-shirts. they are fucking comfortable, especially those which are more than 6 years old and have been washed at least 500 times.
smile at your tshirt tonight before you sleep and thank it for all the comfort it has given you.
also we should give ourselves more time to savor the beauty of lying in bed half naked. it feels fucking good balls!

2009-02-17T22:52:00.004+08:00

i've a vacation planned from the 3rd of march till the 10th of march, and i will be returning to phuket, but this time not with questal, but with AHMAD ZAKI AKA GRUNGY BABY. ahmad zaki is a grunge boy, who rides a grunge motorcycle from the late 80's which was passed down to him from his dad. he fastens an old plastic casio watch to the belt loop of his trousers and eats leftovers from fast food outlets, even excitedly and enthusiastically when its left behind by a pretty girl.
i've known him since i was 15, he was an irritating mat from the best class in all of secondary 4. he dressed like a clown to soccer trainings, with colorful mismatching jerseys, one from gombak united, one from barcelona, socks from uzbekistans national team and soccer boots from salvation army. zaki is the grungiest baby i've known in my life. it is going to be colorful travelling with him, i reckon i'll have alot of grungy, dirty, on a budget fun. maybe we will hire elephants and jump into their vaginas and live in their womb for a day and drink lots of beer inside the womb re-enacting our final days in our mothers wombs, which happens to be the 20th anniversary of the day the genocide of my blissful well-being in my mothers womb occurred, before i was given birth to, into this cruel, cruel world. ceh so step sia haha.

2009-02-15T22:44:00.003+08:00

today questal and i were naughty, we skipped church and stayed home for awhile, then played left 4 dead and had dinner at katong. left 4 dead seriously needs more maps.